While most girls were probably planning their fairy tale weddings or deciding what overzealous pink outfit to put on their Barbie doll – my mind was warped into Mob movies. My mind matured faster than it probably would’ve because I spent most of my time under my cousin who is 9 years my senior, listening to music far and above in subject matter for someone 5 to 6 years in age. That wasn’t where the issue lied it was that my piqued analysis of the world around me led to asking many questions or researching topics to get my own understanding of the world around me. So when I watched these movies, I would analysis like any good book I got my hands on. By the time I was in fifth grade I was reading at a 11th grade reading level, I was aware of the adult world. I absorbed from situations and looking back some of my greatest life lessons or personality traits have root in the pop culture of my childhood.
One of the greatest lessons I learned come from one of my favorite movies A Bronx Tale and the moments of Sonny’s “Door Test”. Apart from the racial tension, violence, and mafia mentality there are a bunch of great lessons to be learned about family, friendship and love withing the framework of this motion picture. The Door Test, is an essential reminder to judge the level of contribution someone will usher into your life shall you allow them to be apart of it. I’ve developed a militant mindset on protecting my personal space and for that many people have labeled me mean or snobby. When in fact, past experiences and gems like the “Door Test” have allowed me to pay attention to the red flags surrounding the course of many of the relationships in my life. This is why I let friends go, I enjoy my own company and I try not to fret when people show their true colors.
As demonstrated with the door test, you can tell within the first two few conversations or interactions with someone if they are worthy enough to enter your life. Of course in the digital age the door test is near obsolete so I commission another module for judging character, and it simply lies in people who take the time to reach out and check on me. With all the gadgets and social media at our fingertips, it’s ironic how detached from people’s well being we are. Can you honestly remember, the last time someone genuinely hit you up to just talk or check on you? No gossip, favor at the back of the action?
I know loads of people so of course I do not expect everyone to continually hit me up to see how I am doing on a day-to-day basis. We have jobs and lives outside of our relationships but there are times when that connection is crucial to having a bond with anyone. For the past two months my life has been in shambles and I can count on my two hands the people who actually checked to see if I was emotionally ok. Or after having the flu/stomach virus combo who reached out to see if I needed anything or how I was feeling. A few actually did this and surprisingly the majority of these people are not people I would consider friends. So I have begun to adjust the friendship roster of mine because I’m realizing apart from being extremely sick, those same people are not supportive of my writing whether it be here or on many of my freelance work. The people who I called friends a year ago are nowhere in sight and looking back on the friendship it’s clear that they were never really friend on a level on which I am. The Door Test would have shown me this but I was too busy working or trying to be a better person, I overlook the people who are incapable of the same things.
The smallest gestures help you overcome the greatest mountains.
Pay attention to what people are exposing to you about themselves when they think you’re not watching. This is who they truly are and this is all of what they’ll bring into a relationship with you whether it be on an intimate level or platonic. Learn to cherish your space because it’s all that you truly have control over in this life.