Today, I realized in my most recent break-up I went from the sappy “fuck’er ion care” get over everything emotional mechanisms of Wale to the shady lonely room dwellings of Drake.
How’d I get here? By wearing black hearts on my cardigan.
In the beginning I wondered if anything I was doing was brand new. When you’ve got the one you can’t be too wide open, right? Wrong, that’s what I get for ignoring everything Jay-Z ever taught me.
Long unforgettable nights, fireworks and intimacy. Could blame it on time but when it felt so right, I was trying to give dude whatever was left of me. What I’ve learned in losing myself in love is that no matter how hard to fight, someone being there is dependent on them more than it is on you. No matter the amount of heart you put in it.
It must be Freaky Friday because Drake and I switched places sans the Cosby sweaters and tacky style and trade the Aaliyah obsession for Keith Haring. I never went through his phone when he went to the bathroom but it’s all the same because I have forgotten how to detach myself.
Became an insomniac because I hate sleeping alone. Reliving the demise of my picture perfect relationship because though it was minute in the scheme of things what happened between us that night? It always seems to trouble me. I’m not looking for rebound ‘caught up on your ex I can get you past it’ brother either.
So damn you Drake, I guess all those sappy lines were funny before I could really relate. I’ve become the overly emotional, hypersensitive person that just won’t let love go. With pieces of his beard still sitting in my sink, the occupancy of Marvin’s Room reads “Chrissy” all while I pop bottles because I bottle my emotions.
I know I refuse to fund any strippers in my grieving process.
But my heart broke and ended up like before and that shared last slice is the cold pizza for the morning after.
Guess in the midst of our romance we were doing it wrong and in realizing the good ones go, it seems the hottest love really does have the coldest end.
While I miss him, I’ll just stay in Marvin’s room blogging away what’s left.
Cause I can never right my wrongs unless I write them down for real
We’ll always have sooner than later.